I Wanted to Quit, So I Didn’t

Some of you might have read my blog “I didn’t want to workout, so I did.”

Well this is the sequel. I wanted to quit, so I didn’t.

I genuinely wanted to workout today. But I kept procrastinating. I wanted the endorphins and the benefits from a strong workout. But I didn’t (still don’t) want to do the work.  

I wouldn’t be doing anything different with my time - I’d still be sitting, watching my favorite shows. But how lazy do I have to be to not want to grind out a workout while I do it?

I’m actively moving. I’m putting in effort. Minimum effort... because I can’t want to work hard. No desire to raise my heart rate. No desire to sweat or strain. I’m actively dreading the soreness in my legs, my back. The feelings I usually live for? Yeah, I couldn’t be further distancing myself.

I can quit. I can stop right now. No one would know. No one would care.

Actually. Scratch that.

I would know. And I would absolutely care. 

If I quit, I’ll be weak. Mentally. My tenacity will be compromised. I’ll have given myself an out on a hard day. To what end? What’s to stop me from doing that again on another day?

There is no staying still in training. There’s getting better and getting worse. If I’m worse tomorrow, it’s because of today.

If you can’t rely on yourself, can’t trust your own damn self to push away the negativity and the doubts, then you have to question how badly you really want it. If you’re only going to train on the “good days,” I promise you, you won’t get very far. The good days improve the body, the bad days improve the mind.

Don’t. Fucking. Quit. You owe it to yourself to be stronger than that. Forgive yourself and allow space for forgiveness when you’re not at your best, but don’t play second favorite to the devil on your shoulder telling you to stop. Deep breath, it’ll be over before you know it, and you’ll feel better (and be better) for it. Be stronger tomorrow by working through today.